Thank Arceus for Shauna!
by WritingRowlet
Summary: It was Shauna's fault Ash was dressed like a girl. He hated dressing like this! He just wanted to battle, not go on a freaking DATE! Now, he's stuck pretending he's Ashley and dealing with the fact that he likes Clemont and that Clemont likes Ashley...or does Clemont like him? Diodeshipping! Silliness, cuteness, and fluff!


"I hate this, I hate this, _I absolutely hate this so much_ ," Ash growled from where he sat on the vanity seat. Shauna smacked his pink-wig covered head and spun the chair around.

"You're the one that wants to get into the festival! Only pairs can get in, and when I'm done with you, no guy will ever be able to resist!" Shauna teased.

"Why can't I just go with a girl?!" Ash whined. "Like you, or Serena or someone?"

Shauna shook her head and stooped down to apply makeup to Ash's eyes. "Serena thought you weren't going, so she agreed to go with Trevor, and _I_ would much rather go with Tierno."

Ash grumbled under his breath and stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. With that, Shauna put lipstick on him. "Eh! Blech!" Ash spat, flailing his arms when the wax hit his mouth. "No more makeup, this is just gross!"

Shauna laughed and stood up to find a dress. There weren't many she had that would fit someone with no curves, so it took a while to find one that would work. "OK, try this one," she commanded, shoving the dress in Ash's arms and spinning around to give him privacy. Ash let out a whine, seeing immediately just how _girly_ the dress was. It was worse when he got it on; it was mint colored with chocolate colored ribbons draping down the bottom half from where they were attached to the same colored bows.

"I look like a Thin Mint cookie!" Ash complained loudly.

"Well, it doesn't look that bad, honestly…" Shauna said, "It could be a lot worse." She had him twirl around to make sure the dress looked good all the way around, and she giggled.

"What?" Ash groaned, his shoulders drooping just like his masculinity.

"It's just – you look really cute as a girl," Shauna snickered, hiding her face in her hand to repress the worst of her laughter. Ash's eye twitched and he quite wanted to punch a wall.

"Alright, go." Shauna shoved Ash out into the Pokémon Center where a lot of people were dressed up trying to find dates. Had he mentioned how much he hated this? "Just think cute!"

"You're not helping!" Ash shouted behind himself, blushing madly. He picked up the skirt and shuffled across the floor, thankful that Shauna had at least given him flats instead of heels. Maybe this would go well, maybe he could find a nice, normal, non-crazy guy and they could just – _OH ARCEUS, IT'S CLEMONT!_

Ash looked away, begging the powers that be for the blond not to see him. The last thing he needed was for one of his friends to see him like that. And, in his looking away, he spotted Team Rocket with Bonnie and Chespin in cages.

"Help! Help, they're stealing me and Chespin!" Bonnie shouted. Everyone in the room looked over and most people froze in fear. The only ones that didn't just happened to be Ash and Clemont.

"Bonnie!" Clemont shouted. He reached for his pokeballs only to discover they were missing.

"Looking for these?!" Meowth laughed manically, holding up the balls.

"Give those back!" Clemont shouted.

"What's the word I'm looking for…? Oh, yeah! NO!" Meowth laughed, running out the door. "Catch us if you can, twerp!" Team Rocket fled outside, so Clemont ran after them. Ash called for Pikachu, who jumped out of Shauna's arms and onto his shoulder.

"What're you doing, Ash? You'll blow your cover!" Shauna shouted.

"If it happens, it happens…" Ash said as he ran out the door. He found his friends and Team Rocket by some trees. Clemont was trying so hard to get his sister and pokemon back, but was having a hard time since he couldn't jump to reach them or do anything. "Pikachu!" Ash shouted in his girliest voice. He extended his arm for Pikachu to jump off of, "Electro Ball!"

Clemont and the others looked toward the two, looking quite surprised that someone was actually there to help. Pikachu's attack hit the balloon and knocked the cages off, sending them flying into the air. Ash ran and caught it, calling a Thunder Bolt as well. Team Rocket blasted off, so Pikachu scampered back over and helped Ash break the lock off the cage.

"Gotcha!" he cheered in his high voice once the lock broke. Chespin and Bonnie hopped out and the grass type grabbed Ash's neck and hugged him tightly. "C-cut it out, Chespin…" Ash whispered. He didn't need this one pokemon to blow his cover.

"Wow, thank you so much!" Clemont said once he got over to them. "You really saved my sister, miss, um…?"

"Ashley!" Ash said quickly. "A-and this is my Pikachu…um, Sparky!" Surely Ritchie would forgive him for stealing the name, right?

"Well, thanks, Ashley," Clemont said once again. He sounded nervous, oh no, had he figured it out? Maybe Ash should've used something less obvious for his name…

Suddenly, Ash felt a hand grab his. He looked down and there stooped Bonnie with her other hand over her heart. "Ashely, would you please take care of my brother?!" she shouted.

"What?!" Ash shouted, yanking his hand back and blushing madly.

"B-Bonnie!" Clemont exclaimed, pulling his sister away, "You really need to stop doing that!" he fussed, pushing her behind himself. "S-sorry about my sister," he apologized.

"I-it's OK, don't worry about it!" Damn, it was really hard for Ash to control his voice from cracking. Chespin jumped onto his shoulder happily, nudging Ash's cheek in thanks.

"Chespin, get down," Clemont commanded. Why did Chespin have to just _know_? Once his pokemon was down, Clemont cleared his throat and looked up at Ash, "So…do you have a partner for the festival this evening?" he asked, trying to contain his blush.

"Actually!" Ash started, his voice going quite high, "Um, actually, I was looking for someone to go with when your sister got in trouble!" He twisted the fabric of his dress as his heart sped up a million miles a minute. He was fairly certain new butterfrees had been added to the swarm in his tummy.

"Would you like to, y'know…go with me?" Clemont asked.

Ash nodded eagerly with his whole body moving. "That'd be nice," he smiled. Bonnie stood between them with a growing grin. The dedenne on her head had made it quite clear just a moment before that that girl was, without a doubt, Ash Ketchum. Her big brother was going on a date with Ash Ketchum!

* * *

Clemont was getting even more nervous as he walked along the street with Ashley. He was going to ask Ash, since the Kanto boy was so looking forward to the festival until he learned he had to have a date. They could've gone just as friends, right? _And then we could have ended up being on an actual date…just with battling, but Ash likes those so he would like the date and then we'd win and have to – Shut it, Clemont!_

Ashley was a nice girl! She was cute, sweet, had saved his sister, and for whatever reason reminded him of that boy he just couldn't get out of his head. She even had a Pikachu on her shoulder! Chespin walked between them, one paw in either of their hands, with a little bowtie around his neck. Ashely's Pikachu wore a cute little brown ribbon around his neck, which waved in the wind as they walked. _It's cute they match…_ Clemont thought, smiling at Ashely's genuine interest in everything around her.

"So, have you never been to this festival?" Clemont asked.

Ashley shook her head, "I'm not from around here, so I've never been," she explained.

"Oh?" Clemont started. "Where are you from, then?"

"Kanto!" Ashley shouted. She suddenly tensed for whatever reason, and looked just about ready to cry. Clemont brushed it off, deciding not to upset the poor girl any farther with more questions.

"I think our battle is next," he said instead, tugging her sleeve to pull her toward the stage.

Luckily, the battle went well. Clemont and Ashley had won! They went through the ranks quickly, and were in the final battle of the tournament. "Ready, Clemont?" Ashley asked, smiling at him brightly. It was funny how she was so expressive in battle.

"Ready!" Clemont nodded. Their opponents were…Serena and Trevor!

Serena called out her eevee and Trevor, his charmeleon.

* * *

Ash knew he couldn't use Pikachu. Eevee would catch on, and she hadn't had anything explained by Pikachu. Also, Charmeleon might figure it out, too. He'd have to use someone Eevee wasn't familiar with. Luckily, he'd been smart enough, for once, to think that through.

"Go, Bunnelby!" Clemont shouted, letting the rabbit out onto the field.

"We won't go easy, Clemont!" Serena shouted from the other side. Clemont huffed and pushed his glasses up. Ash watched him and he could feel a blush creep up his neck.

"Buizel, I choose you!" Ash called, letting out the water type. At least now there was even less of a chance of anyone figuring out he wasn't a girl…

"A buizel? Not Sparky or your Hawluncha?" Clemont asked.

"Um…type advantage?" Ash reasoned. Sounded good enough. Clemont shrugged and turned to battle. The announcer shouted start, and Ash thrust his arm forward. "Buizel, Aqua Jet on Charmeleon!"

"Dodge it, Charmeleon!" Trevor shouted. The fire type jumped, but he was too slow to miss being hit. Eevee attacked, knocking the weasel back. "OK, Flame Thrower!" Trevor commanded. The attack landed on Bunnelby and knocked the pokemon off its feet.

"Oh, no!" Clemont shouted. "Bunnelby, you OK?"

"Bun!" Bunnelby reassured, hopping back up and getting in a fighting stance. "OK, let's –"

"Hang on, Clemont," Ash tapped the blond's arm to get his attention. "I have an idea…haven't done this in a while but, your Bunnelby knows Ice Beam, right?"

"Yeah…just learned it the other day, why?" Clemont asked.

"Just trust me," Ash smiled and winked, turning back to the field. "Buizel, Aqua Jet again!" He shouted. Buizel took off into the air, surrounding himself in water. "OK, Clemont, trust time!"

"Uh, right! Bunnelby, Ice Beam!"

"On Buizel! Now!" Ash added. Bunnelby did as it was told, though not very happily. Wasn't this a dumb idea?

"What are they doing?!" Serena gasped as the Aqua Jet froze around Buizel. "Get outta there, Eevee!"

Direct hit. The move broke around the pokemon, and once the dust cleared, both Charmeleon and Eevee had fainted.

"And we have our winners!" the announcer cheered. Buizel and Bunnelby ran back to their trainers, jumping into their arms for hugs.

"You did great, you two!" Ash praised, petting both pokemon.

"Where'd you learn how to do that, Ashley?" Clemont asked.

"My friend from Sinnoh did it for contests, I just reapplied it," Ash explained. His voice cracked a little at the long phrase, but at this point he didn't think Clemont would notice.

"And now, the moment you all probably have been waiting for, the celebration kiss!" the announcer cooed. Clemont and Ash looked in the direction of the crowd, who cooed and cheered loudly.

"Celebration kiss?" Ash asked nervously.

"O-oh…you didn't know, did you?" Clemont asked. Ash shook his head, pulling Buizel farther up his chest in his arms. "The winners of the battle…well, they have to kiss…"

Ash could feel his heart stop. All those butterfrees that had fled during the battle came back in full force, most of them somehow turning into aerodactyls. "We have to kiss?" he asked, his voice going a bit too high again. Clemont nodded, blushing and looking away.

"I'm really sorry, I mean I probably should have told you when you said you didn't know much about the festival, but that's why you have to be a pair to go and, just, I should've –"

Clemont was cut off when Ash pressed a kiss to his lips. "I don't mind…" he smiled, hiding his own blush behind the water type that was squirming in his arms. The crowd went wild, cheering and making so many noises that Ash couldn't keep track. He could see his face on a jumbo screen, and he just hoped that HD didn't make it obvious how so not a girl he was.

* * *

When Ashley's lips went over Clemont's, he was sure he was going to pass out. Everything else seemed to disappear, and the two were alone in pitch black darkness. She even pulled her buizel cutely up to her face to hide her smile! She was so cute!

Now if only Clemont could stop imagining she was _Ash_. That would help a lot. Here was a cute girl that seemed to actually be into him, and all he could think about was his dumb crush on Ash.

He was only pulled back to reality when Ashley grabbed his hand and tugged him off the stage. Bonnie and Luxray met the two at the gate, happily congratulating them. "You two were amazing! That was such a cool move, Ashley!" Bonnie exclaimed, hugging the pink-haired girl.

"Thanks, Bonnie," Ashley smiled, giving her ponytail a tug.

That's when Luxray did something unexpected. He licked Ashley's cheek. "Ah!" Ashley yelped, falling onto her bottom.

"Luxray, no!" Clemont fussed, pulling the lion back by his mane. "Why'd you do that? You normally only do that to me and Ash…"

" _Lux_ ," Luxray huffed. If his trainer was any dumber, his head would explode. That was obviously his Ash!

"It's alright, Clemont," Ashley reassured as she got to her feet carefully. "You're just saying congrats, too, aren't you?" She pet the electric lion's nose and scratched his chin.

"Wow, you're really good with him…" Clemont commented. Ashley smiled and leaned down to the pokemon's face.

* * *

"You need to cut it out, Luxray, I'm not Ash right now, OK?" Ash whispered. Luxray nudged Ash's face and brought a paw up to his shoulder. "Nu-uh, you're not supposed to know me, alright? Belly scratches later if you go along with it!"

Luxray put his paw down and backed out from under Ash, shaking his fur out. Ash smiled at Clemont, "Boy, that Luxray is adorable!"

"Yeah, we've know each other since we were both small," Clemont said, rubbing the back of his head. "Bonnie, why don't you go play with Luxray and Sparky for a while?" Clemont suggested, "And go find Serena!"

"Sure, Clemont!" Bonnie giggled, skipping away with the electric types.

"I hope it's OK that I let her take your Pikachu with her…" Clemont said as a second thought. He looked nervous about it; Ash just assumed Clemont forgot that it wasn't supposed to be his pikachu.

"It's alright!" Ash said, waving off the incident. "But, why'd you send them away?" he asked. The butterfrees came back again, and now he didn't have Buizel to hide behind.

"Well…I just wanted to talk to you for a second," Clemont explained. He was blushing and nudging his glasses up his nose. "I had a lot of fun battling with you this evening, y'know."

"I had lots of fun, too!" Ash said a bit too eagerly. He needed to calm the heckie heck down.

"And that kiss was nice…" Clemont added, crossing his arms.

 _Oh no! He likes me! Er…he likes Ashley?_ Ash thought to himself, wringing his hands on his dress. There was a distinct crease on the fabric now where he'd wrung his hands so many times.

"But…I don't think we should be more than friends, OK?" Clemont said slowly. "I-it's not that I don't like you!" he quickly added. "You're really cute and nice and all, but…" He sighed. Where was this going? Why was Ash hanging onto the words so closely? "But, I kinda like this one friend of mine…his name is Ash and he's really cool and sweet and good-looking…I know it sounds weird, but I don't think I can like you the way you seem to like me…" he laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his.

"Clemont…" Ash snickered under his breath. Only, in his actually voice. _Crap!_

"What was that?" Clemont asked in surprise.

"U-uh! Oh, forget it," Ash dropped the voice and sighed. "I'm sorry, Clemont," he apologized, hanging his head and letting the wig slip around.

"Ash?!" Clemont exclaimed. Ash nodded, crossing his arms over his chest.

* * *

Clemont didn't know what to think. So, it was OK that he thought about Ash when he looked at Ashley. The longer he thought about the situation, the more it made him laugh.

"H-hey!" Ash shouted, blushing bright red. "Don't laugh!"

"N-no! I'm not laughing at you!" Clemont snickered, wiping at his eyes. "Just…this whole thing is ridiculous, you as a girl, and the fact that I couldn't tell! But, you did make a very cute girl…"

"Apparently that didn't matter, though," Ash said, smirking. "You already thought I was cute before the whole Ashley thing." Ash had his hands on his hips and was leaning under Clemont's nose teasingly.

Clemont blushed. Instead of responding, he just pressed a kiss to Ash's lips and held the other boy's hips. Ash grabbed Clemont by the shirt and tugged him closer, deepening the kiss. His wig fell off, so he was just stood in a dress. When the separated, they both couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"Who do we have to thank for this?" Clemont asked through his giggles.

"Shauna," Ash said, leaning his head on Clemont's shoulder.

"Well, thank Arceus for Shauna!" Clemont announced. He kissed the top of Ash's head and held the other boy's hand.

"Y'know, just because I'm dressed like a girl, doesn't mean that you have to hold me like one, Clemmy…" Ash mumbled.

"Yes I do."

 **Someone stop me and this trash I keep producing so easily**

 **Review and Favorite if you enjoyed!**


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